Deflated /Delhi bitching - 2

As I made my way towards the car on Sunday morning, I had no idea that the next few hours were going to squash my Sunday spirit and give me plenty of reasons to add to my "Delhi bitching" series. I was groggy, just waking up after a long night spent in high spirits and as I reached  where my car was parked I heard a woman sternly ask me, "is this your car?"

I turned, looked at her angry face, nodded and the woman launched into a moralistic lecture on how literate people like me couldn't pay attention to little red and white sign boards saying "No Parking, Tyres will be deflated", how she had to "urgently" go somewhere at 6:30 in the morning (later I found out that this urgent trip was to the fucking gym) and how ashamed I should be. I sheepishly admitted to my mistake and said I was sorry, feeling terrible that the lady probably had somewhere urgent to go and was stuck because of my car. Angry at myself I got in and reversed the car when my friend shouted for me to stop and pointed to my car's deflated tyre.

I jumped out of the car, yelled for the woman and like a petulant child ranted, "If you've already punished me by deflating the tyres of my car, I don't think I should be listening to your lecture or saying sorry to you. In fact, I'm not sorry at all. **SQ!#D" In the same petulant-child-mode, I stormed away, driving my car in 1st gear to nearest repair shop.

2 hours, much sweat and 1 soiled jacket later I was back home with a replacement tyre that made my car wobble and a temper that refused to settle down. My problem isn't with admitting that I made a mistake.

My problem is that the people of  Delhi are unforgiving bullies. In other cities (read: Mumbai), there is ONLY ONE authority that can put up no-parking signs, and it is the traffic police. Even the traffic police doesn't deflate the tyres of your car and potentially damage your property. They calmly tow away your car and wait for you to pay the fine.

In Delhi, every resident is a police man. Each house has a default no-parking sign posted and every single person has the "right" to damage my property, yell at me and be terrorist-like in their behaviour. An eye for an eye. There is nothing I can do about it, but leave. And be paranoid about it the next time I park my car.

In the last two days, I've added as many reasons for not settling down in Delhi. People deflating my car tyres and friends moving out for better education and better cities.

The list is only getting longer.

Anddd it's done!

After the many many years of angst, screwed up plans, slave labour, studying and studying some more, the woman has done it :D

Renu Mehta, Chartered Accountant.

Yaaayyyyy!!!!

Oh. My. God.

All beginners mistakes to one side. But calling the Chairman instead of his assistant by mistake?

Oh. My. God.

Everybody who is reading, please give me a job if I get fired today.

Dichotomy

Last weekend, Javed Akhtar showed his support for Satyamev Jayate, on the episode against alcoholism. He also came out with his story of how he became an alcoholic.

This week, McDowell's released an advertisement with his son, Farhan Akhtar endorsing the brand (of course, this was the soda extension).

Hmm. Interesting.

Things to Do in Delhi.Version_Weekends

When I looked at them from afar, weekends in Delhi held immense promise. However, after taking a closer look, the weekend scene in Delhi is a bit of mixed-bag really. One is required to take a lot of initiative to do something interesting on Saturdays and Sundays... it's not as easy-going and flow-ey as my home-town. Anyhoo, based on personal experience, here is an account of things to do in Delhi. Version: weekends!

1.  Invite people to your house, buy lots of beer/ any alcohol of your choice and food and chill with the television. Low on stress, high on fun and easy on the wallet.. these "scenes" work out especially if you have 4-5 friends who are equally jobless and socially unambitious on those particular days!

2. Tap the pseudo scene and catch events that extol the virtues of NGOs working in education, child rights and other cool sectors. Note to all who venture: Though these events are designed for individuals like you and me to speak with  people who have emerged victorious despite difficult circumstances and experts who work in the space, they are often a combination of the aforesaid inspiring conversation and other annual-gala type events with amateur dances and songs. Go for the conversation, tolerate the singing-and-dancing.

3. Walk around in Hauz Khas Village. Yes, everybody talks about the lal dora village and how cool it is, but this is one street that lives up to its hype. You can trust to find tons of information online about where to go, and also know that you will find a new store/ eatery every time you visit!

4. Go to Khan Market, buy a book from the Full Circle store and trudge up the stairs to Cafe Turtle... to drink their iced tea, stare at the weird concoction of people dropping in (firangs, fully decked out Dally-girls, occasional hippies) and read a few pages. 
It's perfect for the blistering days in Delhi when there is no electricity at home and you don't want to make conversation or go to the movies.  

5. Take the Indigo flight back to Bombay on Friday evening. Party the weekend away and fly back to office on Monday morning. I have vowed that the two days spent taking in the blissful Bombay weather are going to last me until Delhi can become more bearable. 

Ice Ice Baby

A friend suggested that I should sit in a tub full of water like a hippo the whole day to get over this stifling heat in the city. The many implications of that suggestion aside, it is SOOO hotttt!!!

Yes, it is dumb to crib about the weather when many in the world are dying of hunger and I sit in an air-conditioned environment 15 hours a day. But by God, I feel like a droopy dried-up flower :-(

I hear it's raining in Bomz. Please please send some this way soon!

Deja Vu

When I was in Malawi, late last year, one of the most frequently discussed topics was about the political crisis ravaging Malawi. They were ruled by an authoritarian, divisive and slightly crazy President who  insisted that all was well with his world. In the meanwhile, he succeeded in alienating many of the large donor countries (read: UK, USA) that resulted in a for-ex shortage, a severe fuel crisis and a breakdown of production throughout the small country.

Most of the discussion centred around how protests had failed to shake the President and his government out of a stupor and that the population would patiently wait for the 2014 elections to voice their opinion and vote for change. The real question was whether the country would survive to see the 2014 election.

Then in a sudden development, the President died of a heart attack and Malawi ushered in its first woman President. While the jury is still out on her performance, everyone in Malawi breathed a collective sigh of relief when the country didn't collapse into civil war, but continued to have a stable government.

*********************

Reading about India's latest GDP growth figures and the repeated criticism of the Congress-led government for it lackadaisical response to every crisis in the last 2 years, I am struck by a sense of deja vu.

The media is crying itself hoarse about a home-made recession, fewer jobs, more inflation and a confusing cumbersome government. Political parties aren't able to find any alternative leaders for the next general election in 2014 and with a whopping 10 States set for assembly elections in 2012-13, the government is sitting tight on all the difficult, rabble rousing reforms.

And what are we doing to change this? Waiting for 2014. Or a heart attack.