Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Oh, such a noob!

My gas cylinder went empty on me last night as I was boiling potatoes. Of course, my brain had started assuming that I had a gas pipeline with never-ending supply and the gas cylinder had become a blind-spot - so this was a huge surprise!

Since then, I have tried many many things to get some gas, to no avail. Friends with extra gas cylinders have either already given them on loan or can't because they are the official booked connections. The black market guys are notorious for being untraceable. "Agar aagayaa toh mei cylinder le loonga..." says the guard. "Kab aayegaa?" I ask patiently, to which he says "..... mei toh abhi aayaa hoon (like from home or have you just joined this duty?!).... jabbhi aajaaye mei le loonga... aaj, kal, parso..."

Oh well, I'm praying to get my morning tea soon.. kal, parso, narso...

Monday, July 30, 2012

Deflated /Delhi bitching - 2

As I made my way towards the car on Sunday morning, I had no idea that the next few hours were going to squash my Sunday spirit and give me plenty of reasons to add to my "Delhi bitching" series. I was groggy, just waking up after a long night spent in high spirits and as I reached  where my car was parked I heard a woman sternly ask me, "is this your car?"

I turned, looked at her angry face, nodded and the woman launched into a moralistic lecture on how literate people like me couldn't pay attention to little red and white sign boards saying "No Parking, Tyres will be deflated", how she had to "urgently" go somewhere at 6:30 in the morning (later I found out that this urgent trip was to the fucking gym) and how ashamed I should be. I sheepishly admitted to my mistake and said I was sorry, feeling terrible that the lady probably had somewhere urgent to go and was stuck because of my car. Angry at myself I got in and reversed the car when my friend shouted for me to stop and pointed to my car's deflated tyre.

I jumped out of the car, yelled for the woman and like a petulant child ranted, "If you've already punished me by deflating the tyres of my car, I don't think I should be listening to your lecture or saying sorry to you. In fact, I'm not sorry at all. **SQ!#D" In the same petulant-child-mode, I stormed away, driving my car in 1st gear to nearest repair shop.

2 hours, much sweat and 1 soiled jacket later I was back home with a replacement tyre that made my car wobble and a temper that refused to settle down. My problem isn't with admitting that I made a mistake.

My problem is that the people of  Delhi are unforgiving bullies. In other cities (read: Mumbai), there is ONLY ONE authority that can put up no-parking signs, and it is the traffic police. Even the traffic police doesn't deflate the tyres of your car and potentially damage your property. They calmly tow away your car and wait for you to pay the fine.

In Delhi, every resident is a police man. Each house has a default no-parking sign posted and every single person has the "right" to damage my property, yell at me and be terrorist-like in their behaviour. An eye for an eye. There is nothing I can do about it, but leave. And be paranoid about it the next time I park my car.

In the last two days, I've added as many reasons for not settling down in Delhi. People deflating my car tyres and friends moving out for better education and better cities.

The list is only getting longer.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Anddd it's done!

After the many many years of angst, screwed up plans, slave labour, studying and studying some more, the woman has done it :D

Renu Mehta, Chartered Accountant.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Oh. My. God.

All beginners mistakes to one side. But calling the Chairman instead of his assistant by mistake?

Oh. My. God.

Everybody who is reading, please give me a job if I get fired today.

Thursday, July 5, 2012


Last weekend, Javed Akhtar showed his support for Satyamev Jayate, on the episode against alcoholism. He also came out with his story of how he became an alcoholic.

This week, McDowell's released an advertisement with his son, Farhan Akhtar endorsing the brand (of course, this was the soda extension).

Hmm. Interesting.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Things to Do in Delhi.Version_Weekends

When I looked at them from afar, weekends in Delhi held immense promise. However, after taking a closer look, the weekend scene in Delhi is a bit of mixed-bag really. One is required to take a lot of initiative to do something interesting on Saturdays and Sundays... it's not as easy-going and flow-ey as my home-town. Anyhoo, based on personal experience, here is an account of things to do in Delhi. Version: weekends!

1.  Invite people to your house, buy lots of beer/ any alcohol of your choice and food and chill with the television. Low on stress, high on fun and easy on the wallet.. these "scenes" work out especially if you have 4-5 friends who are equally jobless and socially unambitious on those particular days!

2. Tap the pseudo scene and catch events that extol the virtues of NGOs working in education, child rights and other cool sectors. Note to all who venture: Though these events are designed for individuals like you and me to speak with  people who have emerged victorious despite difficult circumstances and experts who work in the space, they are often a combination of the aforesaid inspiring conversation and other annual-gala type events with amateur dances and songs. Go for the conversation, tolerate the singing-and-dancing.

3. Walk around in Hauz Khas Village. Yes, everybody talks about the lal dora village and how cool it is, but this is one street that lives up to its hype. You can trust to find tons of information online about where to go, and also know that you will find a new store/ eatery every time you visit!

4. Go to Khan Market, buy a book from the Full Circle store and trudge up the stairs to Cafe Turtle... to drink their iced tea, stare at the weird concoction of people dropping in (firangs, fully decked out Dally-girls, occasional hippies) and read a few pages. 
It's perfect for the blistering days in Delhi when there is no electricity at home and you don't want to make conversation or go to the movies.  

5. Take the Indigo flight back to Bombay on Friday evening. Party the weekend away and fly back to office on Monday morning. I have vowed that the two days spent taking in the blissful Bombay weather are going to last me until Delhi can become more bearable.