Reprise

Girl in the gym, on the treadmill watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Man on the next treadmill: What are you watching? Girls shouldn't watch such films! 

Girl on the treadmill: Why? It's such a cute movie! 

Man on the treadmill: But look at Bridget's weight! Girls ko yeh sab nahi seekhna chaahiye! 

Girl on the treadmill: Hmm. <should-I-kick-him-or-kiss-him-look>

So many levels of irony! 

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There are some rare people in this world who can take your nice relaxed day and turn it into a nightmare full of violence and rage, with one small action or a 5 minute conversation. Such people need to reconsider why they're alive. 

Auto drivers in Mumbai often fall into this category. Someone else I know also falls into this category. But at least auto drivers are of some use. 

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Thankfully, along with the bad surprises, there were some good surprises this weekend. The kind that I'm not going to forget for a while. After years of running away from all the mushy things, this year was a pleasant change :-) 

Confession

I need a fixer. To fix my job anxiety. I loved the work I did for two years, but I don't want to do it anymore. Yes, my friends are right - it's weird to be unemployed at 25-going-on-26 and weirder still to be content to wait for the right job to come along, but my gut is telling me that it's the right thing to do for now. Once I'm older and have to be more responsible, I may not have the luxury to wait for the most interesting job and do what sounds like fun!


I need a fixer. To fix a broken friendship. I don't want to feel the faint heart burn when I'm talking to someone and I realize that a lot has changed and we're not the same people anymore. I want to feel happy for that person when he tells me about other relationships without feeling resentful that I was not treated with similar respect. I want to wipe the slate clean and start afresh so that I have no memories except that he'z ma frnd and that I care.  

I need a fixer.If you're reading this and do magic, send one my way.

Culture Shock

Singapore was brighter and shinier than I had anticipated. Singapore emanates the efficient and convenient vibe, with the trains running on time, taxis always stopping in the taxi queue and never saying no to customers and with iPhone apps designed by Singapore Tourism to help me get around the city. All in all, Singapore turned out to be the perfect location for a holiday where I wanted no stress and nothing to bombard my senses.

The huge malls, the mega brands and the beautiful clothes were expected. So were the efficient trains, lovely food joints, the amusement parks and idyllic museums with convenient audio guides. The comfort provided by the sheer first-worldness of the city was enough to make me feel better.

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But now I'm home and down with a massive throat infection. Trust me to come out of Africa and fall sick in Singapore! The lack of activity and house arrest is adding to my anxiety about what the future is going to bring. I (vaguely) know what I want to do, but the thought of putting myself out there and finding a job and moving on in life is scary.

Before I Forget - 3

My favourite things! So I can really get on with it and write about other stuff that's eating my brain from the inside out. This post is peppered with food references, but I think that's more me than the country.

5. Peanut Butter. I know I know.This isn't Malawian or even particularly unique. But it's related to my visit, because I survived the first part of my trip on peanut butter and crackers. It was December, I was new to the place and always hungry. Not sure how much weight I put on because of the stupid peanut butter, but I was so enamoured at finding it in a Malawian super market, that I (almost) didn't mind.

4. Flashlight: I landed up in Africa without one of the fancy disco flashlights or the trusted head lamp, but was grateful for my phone light, which was strong and never died out on me. Stopped me from running for the woods on many dark nights without electricity when I couldn't see a thing and imagined some creepy thing crawling up my legs!

3. Chitenze (or some other spelling): 2 metre cloth with traditional African prints and perfect to make a dress, pants or even just use as a beach towel. The beautiful African hand printed cloth brought much fun and colour to our market trips.  

2. Beans. Eat it with Nsima, eat it with rice, it's still going to taste the same. Vegetarian, light on the stomach and wonderfully consistent in taste, it was like healthy comfort food - a concept that didn't exist before beans! It tastes even better when eaten with Nali, which brings me to... ONE!

1. Garlic Nali! Yes, it tastes better than mild or hot nali. It can be mixed with beans, rice, chicken, eggs or absolutely any other food! And yes it tastes good only in Malawi. I tried putting some on my eggs when at home in India, and it just didn't... work. But I guess it happens with food sometimes. It's like how Indian food tastes good only in India. Try having butter chicken or dal-roti in Switzerland, and it will make you want to throw up (sorry butter chicken!)

Before I Forget - 2

November to February. My favourite places in Malawi. Restaurants, bars, tourist towns - you've got them all in Top Five, Edition 2!!  

5. Harry's Bar :- the latest pub frequented by the expat community, people bitched about the badly stocked bar, the small menu, the slow service, but always went back. I think one of the big reasons was how flexible and homey Harry's is. You can hold quiz night, organize a party, get a guitar and drums and entertain the crowd with minimum fuss or even set up a temporary store with minimum fuss. The old couches, the long wooden bar and mismatched furniture, only add to the charm!


4. Bombay Palace:- makes the list for being the restaurant we went to the most number of times. Authentic Punjabi food and a central location combined to make the restaurant very popular in our circle. Miles ahead of its competitor, Country Lodge, this was one place where I could eat Dal Roti Chicken in peace.


3. Zomba Plateau: 4 hours from Lilongwe, this is not an obvious flat plateau but nevertheless a beautiful, green and lush mountain that finally makes Malawi less tame and more Africa-esque. It is surrounded by quirky temperate forests (yes, in the middle of a hot, south of the tropics country!) with a river flowing down the mountain. We didn't trek but you could!

2. Anna Khofi or Some-Such-Name/ Four Seasons :- the best (and perhaps only) Deli in town. They served brilliant sandwiches, salads and cake. Eating a late lunch at the Deli and staying on for Jazz at Four Seasons, where you could lounge on the grass and listen to music, had become a pleasant and comforting Sunday routine.

1. Cape Mac, Lake Malawi:- blue, pristine and dotted with small green islands, Lake Malawi at Cape Mac is pretty as a picture. While going there with 30 other people and Gecko's (backpacker's inn and the biggest party in town) contributed to the fun and frenzied weekend, I can still imagine spending many quiet days by the beach with nothing to do but read, float in the water and soak up the sun.   

Before I Forget - 1

I put on Graduation Goggles in my last 24 hours in Malawi. I know the Malawi experience was intense and full of contradictions but in those last 24 hours I couldn't imagine why I was leaving the country because my brain only recalled the best moments of my time there. But now I'm back and Malawi already seems like a part of the distant world out there. So I figured I should make the traditional Top 5 list of the fun-nest people, places anddd.... things (?) seen in Malawi, before I forget!

So here is my Top 5 list of People. Not only the trippiest people with the most bizarre stories but also the ones who most affected me, make this list.

5. Greg. Scottish, tall, lanky, 42, absolutely yummie and affectionately called the Silver Fox. Currently working in the juvie prisons in Lilongwe, his life story is one of the most exciting I've ever heard. He grew up in the Middle East and decided early on that his life was going to be about travelling and seeing the world. Among his many jobs are bar-tending in Australia and being an extra in the Matrix films. He is the only man I have *ever* met who on meeting me for the first time hugged me, took my bags, held open the car door and made me gush like a little girl.


4. CarolAnn. Worked as legal counsellor defending juvenile delinquents in the Lilongwe prison. She had the most gruesome stories to tell over dinner and she left 2 weeks before I did to go start work in Afghanistan. Most ballsy and fearless person I know.    


3. Muthi. Malawian, educated in Paris and the USA is now back in Malawi to help her Mum and keep her farm functional. One of the most beautiful women I've met, I was in awe of her       when I first met her. She's a bag-full of contradictions with the never-say-no Malawian culture and the no-nonsense-American style continuously warring. So when you invite her for a dinner party she'll always say "yes, I'll be there!" even if she's actually in another city but will tell you about her fantasies about Bill Clinton when you get her drunk. One of my closest friends in Malawi, I don't think I would have survived without her :-)

2. Les makes the number 2 spot with her outrageous sexuality, her crazy adventurous streak and her very good judgement of her friend's needs. Having dated many Indian boys, she was the one person who understood my Indian jokes, my rambling about Indian food and culture and why exactly my parents called me every other day :D  

1. Blondey. Tall. Gorgeous. Canadian. She left her cushy job in New York to come live in different countries in Africa for the last 1 year. She's impatient, hyperactive and doesn't believe in layers. What you see if what you get with her. She took charge of my social calendar in Malawi and we were a couple for almost everyone who knew us in Malawi. And through all the parties, the Malawi-Gin-n-Tonic, the trips and the bitching, she became my best friend in Malawi.

Why I think my brain is made out of Cheese

I often read articles friends have "shared" on Facebook, just for the heck of it.  These range form superfluous, ridiculous, overly opinionated to downright lies. Maybe it was my state of mind, but I found this article, cheesily titled Why Love Matters More (And Less) Than You Think that hit home.


"Perhaps our celebrations of "love" are so often tinged with a quiet desperation because what we're really pursuing is a caricature of love. And perhaps by endlessly redrawing that caricature, we ourselves are lessened, little by little; as if we feel we don't fully belong in the human world, but can't quite understand why. None of us belong here. But we are here. And there's not enough time. Cut the bullshit. Love."


And I see what he means. A lot of us crib about being single, get angsty on Valentine's Day, scout out new people at social gatherings, have random sex with strangers all in the bid to get what we want. But beneath all this, we seem so afraid to articulate what it is exactly that we want. I have a friend who's been around the block a couple of times and she mentioned to me once that her biggest problem is often that she can't read the subtext of what the guy wants out of a particular encounter. You may want a casual no-strings-attached-sex-only relationship, but then you have no right to be cagey and make promises you have no intention of keeping. You may want to get married today and not wait for the next two years, but if you don't say it out loud, you cannot expect the other person to be ready. 


In all fairness, every time someone asks me what kind of person I would like to like, I make up vague clichéd statements and generally avoid the topic. But honestly, I want someone who will ground my life and also add some crazy to it. Someone who won't give me too much attention but will still let me know that I am special to him; call it as it is when I'm being an ass but respect the work I do; want to argue with me on silly issues without taking it personally and be comfortable with the space that he will occupy in my life without being scared of it. 


Of course, when I think that I've found someone who could potentially fit the bill and he turns out to be a jerk, it feels like someone's burnt me with a hot iron. On my part, I'm rather dramatic and filmi when I get hurt. I queue up sad, wrenching songs on my playlist, get into the shower, turn the water to scalding hot and just cry until I'm numb and I can't feel anything. 


But maybe what I should be thinking is that there's not enough time to cry over what happened any more. He's gone and I can't care because I need to find that person who's going to call it as it is when I'm being an ass.